


Responsibility Sucks

by nOEcHoEs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2012, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-09
Updated: 2012-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 06:37:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nOEcHoEs/pseuds/nOEcHoEs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Season 7. The Leviathans were sent back to Purgatory along with the rest of the souls. Castiel stays at the Singer residence with Dean, Sam, and Bobby. They aren't quite ready to forgive the angel for his actions, but when Castiel is poisoned by Crowley, they rush to find a cure. Dean deals with the feelings of anger at his best friend's betrayal and these new feelings he can't quite shake. Crowley wants Castiel in hell, and will do anything to get him there. Dean will do anything to keep that from happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Dean/Castiel Mini-bang Challenge 2012
> 
> Big thanks to my Beta Maddi & krystalicekitsu for creating the lovely artwork.

The silence of the vehicle made Dean shift uncomfortably. It was too quiet for the elder Winchester. The three other passengers stayed silent and kept their thoughts to themselves. Sam sat shotgun, keeping his eyes forward. Dean saw him press against the cut on his hand several times, but didn’t mention it aloud for the sake of everyone. Bobby sat in the back, with his arms crossed over his chest. He kept as far away as possible from the final passenger. Dean pursed his lips as he glanced at the angel in the rearview mirror. Castiel leaned against the door of the old junker car they had driven to the lab in. Cas had been covered in blood and other substances Dean couldn’t identify. He had just fixed Baby, and he wouldn’t risk the shit transferring to his leather. The angel stared out the window, looking more or less like someone had run him over…a bunch of times. 

The silence became too much for Dean. He reached down with his right hand, and turned on the radio of the old car. He was thankful it even had a radio, for it was terribly old. The 1919 golden Chevy Caprice had seen better days. The paint was rusted from the wet weather and neglect, dents littered the outside of the car, and the driver side door only opened when forced. It ran, and that was all that mattered to Dean. 

A song had just ended, and static came out the speakers. Suddenly, J Geils Band’s “Centerfold” blasted through the speakers at full volume. Everyone in the car jumped on instinct. Dean lost control of the car for a second, and they swerved all over the two-lane road. Dean got the car steadied again, and saw three sets of eyes glaring at him. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled. Everyone returned to their silence. Dean sighed, he was just glad for the noise. 

“Does she walk? Does she talk? Does she come complete? My homeroom homeroom angel always pulled me from my seat. She was pure like snowflakes, no one could ever stain. The memory of my angel could never cause me pain.” 

Dean cast a glance over to his brother. He was surprised to see him smirking. 

“What?” Dean asked.  
Sam smiled and shook his head, hair falling into his eyes. “Nothing I…I can’t believe you haven’t changed stations.” 

Dean shrugged. “Hey anything from the Eighties is better than that Justin Beaver crap.”  
“Bieber.” Sam muttered. 

“My blood runs cold. My memory has just been sold. My angel is the centerfold; Angel is the centerfold.”

“I remember the first time I heard this.” Dean whispered. “You weren’t even born yet. I was only three.” 

“And you remember it?” Asked Sam.

“Dad bought mom a new radio for her to listen to. He put it together, and plugged it in. This was the first song it played.” Dean trailed off. “Mom was so happy too…”  
Sam smiled half-heatedly and stared at his hands which were folded in his lap. They listened to the rest of the song. Dean was filled with the few happy memories of his mother, and Sam longed to have more memories of his late mother.

The song ended, and the station cut into a news break. Dean checked the time on his watch. It was just nearing six in the morning. He felt weary from the lack of sleep from the past day.

“The FBI is searching for the man who massacred the entire campaign office of Senator Michelle Walker including herself. The suspect is described as five-foot-eight, dark hair, blue eyes, last seen wearing a tan trench coat-“

Dean switched the radio off as fast as he could. Castiel curled up closer to the window, staring out the window. Dean cleared his throat.

“Anyone feel like breakfast?” Dean asked, trying to erase what he had just heard.

“I could go for something.” Bobby spoke for the first time.

“Yeah, I think I could too.” Sam said. Dean nodded and looked at Cas in the review mirror. The angel didn’t say anything, but he didn’t eat, so Dean didn’t necessarily need his input. 

“Fine let’s get something to eat.”

Dean spotted a sign for a Waffle House that wasn’t too far from where they were. Dean took the exit off the road and pulled into a small town. Dean found the Waffle House and pulled into the parking lot. Sam opened his door and got out, while Dean struggled to open his door.

“Balls.” Bobby cursed.

“What?” Dean asked, sticking his head back inside.

Bobby gestured over to Cas. “He’s still covered in blood and...whatever that is.”

“I’ll stay here.” Cas told them. It was the first Cas had spoken in hours. His voice was hoarse and rougher than usual.

“Are you still going to be here when we get back?” Dean asked. He wasn’t sure if the angel would disappear and leave them forever.

Cas nodded a yes and leaned his back against the window. Dean looked at Bobby. The older hunter shrugged in response, got out of the car, and closed the door.

The three of them walked into the Waffle House together. The place was almost completely empty save for a guy sitting at the bar drinking a cup of coffee.

“Hello, welcome to Waffle House.” A waitress greeted them with a smile. She was in her early forties with sandy brown hair, and warm green eyes.  
Sam picked a booth and Dean and Bobby followed him into the seats. Bobby and Sam sat on one side and Dean sat on the other. The waitress came by with a pad of paper and a pen. “What would you gentlemen like to drink?”

“I’ll take a coffee, black.” Dean said, studying the menu.

Sam smiled at the woman. “I’ll take a black coffee also, and a glass of water.” The waitress wrote it down on her paper and turned to Bobby. “And for you, sugar?”

“I’ll take a black coffee.” He said. The waitress walked away.

Dean smirked. “So you’re a sugar, huh?” He teased Bobby.

The waitress gave them their coffees and took their orders. They stayed in silence for about two minutes before Sam spoke.

“Are we going to talk about what just happened?”

“I’d rather not.” Bobby snorted into his coffee.

Sam frowned. “What are we going to do?” He asked, quietly. He glanced out the window at the car, seeing if could still see Cas.

“Get Cas to fix you up.” Dean said.

“Then what?” Sam asked. “I mean what are we going to do with him?”

“You mean if he actually sticks around?” Bobby asked. “Why wouldn’t he go back up to Heaven?”

“I doubt he could.” Dean said. “After what he did…”

“So assuming he stays with us, what are we going to do?” Sam asked, smiling at the waitress as she brought them their food.

Dean tore into his right away, while Sam and Bobby got a slower start.

“We hunt.” Dean mumbled through a mouthful of food.

Sam gave an exasperated sigh. “You can’t just ignore this, Dean. After he fixes me, what is he going to do?”

Bobby snorted. “Why would we let him?”

Sam gave Bobby a pained look. “Are you thinking about kicking him out?”

Bobby didn’t answer. Dean frowned at his food and stopped eating. “He said he was going to redeem himself to us. The question is whether or not we give him the chance.”

Sam gave a tired sigh. “We’ve all screwed up. All of us, me more so than you guys, but we got past it.”

“We’re family.” Was Bobby’s answer, short and to the point.

“Isn’t Cas?” Sam asked.

Bobby pursed his lips and stared at his food. Dean held his coffee in a death grip so tight that his knuckles turned white.

“Are you boys enjoying your food?” The waitress came by again and smiled.

“Yes, thank you.” Sam couldn’t force himself to smile.

The waitress frowned at the younger Winchester. “What’s the matter, Sam?”

Dean, Bobby, and Sam all jumped up at the same time the waitress’ eyes turned black. Suddenly, the entire Waffle House staff dropped what they were doing and came towards the group. The waitress grabbed Sam by his shirt and yanked him out of the booth, pressing a knife to his throat.

“Hey!” Dean yelled. He went for the gun he kept in his pants, but a demon came from behind and grabbed him. He was yanked out of the booth and thrown across the restaurant. Dean’s vision became blurry as his head collided with the counter. He felt blood run down his face and drip onto his shirt.

Dean managed to open his eyes to see Bobby and Sam both held at knife point. He cursed and looked to see if he could get a signal to Cas for help.

“Dean Winchester…longtime no see.” The waitress smiled down at him.

“I could’ve went longer.” Dean remarked. The demon waitress grabbed his clothes and hauled him upright.

“This is what you’re going to do.” The demon told him.

“Little demanding don’t ya think?” Dean snarked, wincing when a fist slammed into his gut.

“You want your brother and adopted father to keep breathing, you’re going to call that angel here now.” The demon snarled.

Dean paused for a moment. They wanted Cas, but he had no idea why. Cas could smite them all easily.

“Why?” Dean asked.

“A job opportunity.” The demon smiled. “I get the angel, I deliver him to the boss, and I get a reward.”

“I’m guessing the boss is Crowley.” Dean said. Crowley getting his hands on Cas wasn’t a good thing, but what could Crowley do to him? What could any of these demons do to him? Had they all forgotten he was an angel?

“Hmm you got something right.” The demon laughed.

“What does Crowley want with Castiel?” Sam asked, wincing when the demon that was now holding him pressed the knife further into his neck, drawing blood.

“It’s simple, the angel double-crossed him. No one does that to Crowley and comes away clean.”

“Have you forgotten he’s an angel?” Bobby asked, confused. “You can’t hurt him.”

The demon laughed. “That’s hilarious.” She turned to other demons in the room and smiled. “There are several ways to hurt an angel, and Crowley’s been doing his homework. He passed along the info, and said the first one to bring him the angel gets rich.”

“He seriously thinks he can pull this off?” Dean asked them, hoping to stall as long as possible.

“See if you say that when Crowley cuts your angel’s wings off, drags him to hell, and makes him his play thing.” The she-bitch grinned. “You think he’ll be unbeatable when Crowley throws him into the cage with his two big brothers?”

Sam blanched along with Dean as he heard what they were planning on doing.

“Call him now!” The demon yelled. “Or I kill one of them, now.”

As much as Dean didn’t want to, he didn’t have a choice in this. He knew Cas could handle himself, and he couldn’t risk Sam or Bobby being killed by these demons.

“Hey Cas.” Dean started. “We need your help in here. You think you can pop in a second?”

Nothing happened and the demon frowned. “Give it to me.” She told one of the demons.

The chef pulled a knife out of one of the cabinets and threw it to the woman. Dean knew what the knife was immediately. Somehow these demons had gotten an angel sword, and they were going to use it to get Cas.

“Nice isn’t it? A gift from Crowley.” The demon ran her finger across the edge of the blade. “Where is your boyfriend, Dean?”

"Let them go." Growled the figure that appeared in the center of the Waffle House. 

"Castiel, how nice of you to finally show up." The demon smiled, moving the hand with the angel sword behind her back. 

Dean tried to warn Castiel, but his voice became lodged in his throat, courtesy of the demon bitch. 

Cas circled the demon, unaware of the weapon she held behind her back. "My, my. Haven't you been busy lately. Those souls must have been quite tasty. It's a shame that you were too selfish to hand over my boss' share." 

"I would have never given Crowley half of those souls." Castiel growled. "I never had the intention to, even when we made the deal." 

"You ungrateful little bastard!" The demon yelled. "Raphael would have killed you if Crowley hadn't given you 50,000 souls!" 

Castiel looked down at the ground and bit his lower lip. This was news to Dean. He had no idea about these souls the demon was talking about. 

"If he had not given me the souls, then I wouldn't have made the deal at all."

The demon yelled in anger and launched herself at Cas. The angel easily maneuvered himself out of the way, but other demons charged Cas, pushing him back into a corner. 

Dean saw the she-demon reveal the knife and stalk towards Cas. He struggled in his hold, trying desperately to warn the angel. Dean looked towards Sam, the demon still held him tight, but its eyes were focused on the action happening in front of him. The younger Winchester might be able to break loose if he was quick enough. Sam turned and locked eyes with Dean, reading the silent message there. 

Sam took a deep breath and threw his head back, smacking into the demon's skull. Dazed, the demon stumbled into the wall, giving Sam the chance he needed. He unsheathed Ruby's knife and thrust it into the demon's neck. It gurgled and fell limp to the floor. Sam quickly moved and stabbed the demon holding Bobby watching as it fell to the ground. 

Dean smirked in triumph and turned his attention back towards Cas. His smirk faded and his breath stopped in his chest. 

"Cas look out!" Sam screamed. 

The angel heard the warning just in time to see the angel sword flying towards him. He couldn't move fast enough to avoid the hit completely, but was able to turn his body to deflect the hit. The blade tore through his bicep with a sickening sound. 

Cas cried out, and pulled his arm off the blade. His hand reached up to grasp at the wound and try to keep his grace inside his body. The demon raised the sword again. 

Dean prepared for the worst, but was surprised when the demon flew back against the wall. The sword fell well away from the demon and under one of the booths. 

"You should not have done that." Growled Cas. His eyes shining with pain and fury. 

"Close your eyes." Castiel commanded to the three humans, who intern immediately covered their eyes. Some of the demons tried to escape, but were unable to escape the blast as Castiel revealed his true form. 

The screams hurt Dean's ears, along with the high pitched noise that came when Cas revealed his true self. He couldn't complain when the noise stopped and he uncovered his eyes and saw that the room was cleared of the demons and just the four of them remained. He dropped from the wall and was able to breathe normally again. 

"You couldn't have done that sooner?" Were the first words out of Dean's mouth. 

"I...I didn't think I had the strength too." Cas admitted, cringing, and tightening the hold on his arm. 

"Are you going to be okay?" Sam asked, moving forward to take a look at the wounded arm. 

"I will be fine." Cas stated, and walked away. 

"Well if you don't mind, I think we should high tail it back home, now." Bobby said, already moving out the door. 

Sam followed Bobby, while keeping an eye on Cas. Dean paused by Cas' side and look at the angel. 

"Are you coming?" He asked. Sam and Bobby turned around and watched the scene unfold. 

Castiel pondered in thought for a moment. He knew what he had done, and the fact that these people were inviting him to come along with him, amazed him. He knew he didn't deserve it. He wished he had died when he returned the souls to Purgatory. All he could hear were the screams of the people and all the angels he slaughtered playing over and over in his head. 

"I will come." He nodded and told Dean. 

The man had a somewhat smile on his face, and Castiel took it to mean that he was pleased with the answer. 

"Let's get a move on." Bobby snapped. "I'm not waiting around to see if any more demons feel like stopping for some breakfast."

Castiel followed them out the door and back into the Caprice. He hoped that somehow his friends could forgive him for what he had done. 

End of Part 1


	2. Part 2

"Did you double check the wards?" Dean asked once again, lowering his voice to keep from waking the sleeping Sam, who was in a deep slumber on the couch. 

"I already told you, the wards are as good as they are going to get." Bobby snapped, trying to rub the tiredness from his eyes. "I warded against anything out there; demons, angels...well, all except Cas."

"Where is he?" Dean asked, looking around for the angel. 

"Last I saw of him he was on the porch staring up at the sky." Bobby told him. 

"He's outside?!" Dean demanded. He couldn't believe that the angel would be stupid enough to go outside when he was being hunted. 

"What did you want me to do, lock him in the panic room? He's a grown angel, Dean. He doesn't need to be protected like a helpless little animal." 

"Who knows what the hell he's doing out there? For all we know he could be planning some other way to stab us in the back." Dean grumbled. 

"I assure you I'm not." Came the voice from the doorway to the kitchen. 

Dean and Bobby turned around and saw the angel standing in the kitchen with a hurt expression on his face. 

Dean cleared his throat. "Keep it that way, eh?" The elder Winchester sat down in one of the kitchen chairs and sighed from weariness. 

"How's the arm?" Bobby asked, awkwardly. He didn't trust the angel anymore. He wasn't completely comfortable with having him in the house, but couldn't bring himself to throw him out to the woods. 

"It's fine." Was Castiel's usual reply. His hand came up and rubbed across the rip in his bloodstained trench coat. 

"Are you going to fix your clothes?" Dean asked. 

"Fix them?" Castiel asked, confused. 

"Ya know...mojo them clean or whatever you do. No offense, but they smell like shit."

Bobby snorted into his coffee, and Dean shot him a look.

"I..." Cas started and his voice broke off. "I am cut off from Heaven." 

Dean nodded. "I might have figured." 

"Are there even any angels left, or did you kill them all?" Bobby asked.

Castiel flinched, and his expression turned into one of agony. "I.." He stopped talking and stared at the floor, unable to speak with the emotions that were flooding his mind. 

"I could loan you some clothes." Dean suggested. "I think Sam's would fall right off of you." 

"Thank you." He mumbled. 

"Dean?" Sam asked, walking into the kitchen. 

"Hey, you doing okay?" Dean asked, turning to face his brother. 

"Yeah....yeah I'm great." Sam responded, grabbing a coffee cup out of the cabinet. 

"No hallucinations, no Lucifer?" Dean asked, suspiciously. 

"It's quiet for now." Sam told him, gingerly sipping the coffee. 

"Sam...I am sorry-"

"Don't. I appreciate the thought, but not right now." Sam snapped at Cas. 

Castiel nodded his head and leaned against the wall. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. 

"Anything happening?" Dean turned to Bobby. 

"Not that I can tell." The older hunter grumbled. "Everything has settled down. It's just the fallout that's left. People are trying to figure out what the hell happened."

"Well I guess that's better than the alternative." Dean mumbled under his breath. 

"Why didn't you leave me?" Cas asked, suddenly. 

The three men turned to the angel. Bobby was the first to speak. "Wasn't exactly my idea to bring you along. I can hardly look at you without wanting to beat your face in." 

Dean frowned and started at the coffee mug on the table. "We've all screwed up some way or another. All you've done...maybe you deserve a second chance." 

"I understand." Castiel said solemnly. "Perhaps it would be better if I left." 

"Cas, if you leave, you know Crowley will find you." Sam said. 

"Possibly. I am still somewhat an angel despite everything. I know how to hide." 

"We can't make you stay." Dean told him. 

"I don't want you to stay." Bobby told him angrily. "I can't trust you, and I don't want you hanging around here, when I don't know what the hell you are planning to do." 

"I will leave you." Castiel told all of them. 

"Hold on!" Dean commanded. "You're just going to leave? After everything Cas? I know you screwed up, but come on man. This is how it ends? You're just going to leave and we never see you again?"

"Dean-" The young man stood up, his eyes blazed, and his face turned red with anger. 

"You don't even get to think about leaving before you fix Sam!" 

"I wasn't going to, Dean! I know that I..." Castiel's voice cracked. He tried to compose himself in the hopes that he could talk without his emotions spilling over. "I'll heal you when you are ready, Sam." 

"Do it." Dean snapped at the angel. He wanted nothing more than for Sam to have Lucifer out of his head. His little brother needed to heal. 

"Go ahead, Cas." Sam gave permission. 

Castiel's right hand shone with a bright light. He reached towards Sam, who flinched, not knowing what to expect. When they connected, Sam flinched as the grace flowed into his mind. It healed the damage done by hell and purified his tattered soul once more. 

Castiel removed his hand and Sam almost fell to the floor with relief. Dean ran and steadied his brother. "Sam?" 

The younger Winchester opened his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He laughed with joy. "It's gone. I can't remember it anymore." 

Dean smiled and patted his brother on the shoulder. "Thanks Cas." 

Dean turned around when the angel didn't answer, figuring that he had already left. What he didn’t expect, was to find him leaning against the wall as he held his right arm tightly. His face was pinched into a pained expression and his breathing was rapid. 

"Cas?" Dean asked, concerned that the angel was about to go nuclear. 

"This arm." Cas opened his eyes and looked down to his bicep. Under the clothes was the wound from the angel sword. Dean knew whatever was happening couldn't be good. 

"Let me see." Dean said, moving forward. 

"I'm fine." Cas protested. 

"Bullshit." Countered Dean. "Look I'm not going to let you leave like this man. Especially if something is wrong with you."

Dean shook the coat from the angel's shoulder and removed the jacket. He carefully unbuttoned the white dress shirt and removed it. 

"What the hell?" Bobby asked, looking at the wound. 

"Cas..." Sam stuttered. "What happened?" 

Castiel glanced down at the wound. He was alarmed to find it bright red, and pussing as if it were severely infected. Black lines protruded down his arm, almost reaching his elbow. 

"Oh." Cas said. 

"Oh?!" Dean demanded. "What the hell, Cas? You said you could heal it!" 

"I should have been able to." He said surprised, he felt the skin and found it was hot. 

"Why can't you?" Bobby asked. 

Castiel bit his lip and mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Dean asked. 

"I said I don't know." Castiel grabbed his shirt and started to put it back on. "I should leave. I have intruded on you long enough." 

"No!" Dean yelled. "You aren't going anywhere. Just sit down until we figure out what exactly happened." 

"You wished me gone." Castiel turned to Bobby. The older hunter sighed. "We went through all that work, I'd prefer I know that you’re not about to go insane."

"Let me see it." Sam said. Dean ushered Cas to the table where he took a seat in one of the chairs. 

"Did it hurt before you healed me?" Sam asked, prodding at the wound. Cas grimaced. "Not as badly." 

"Why didn't you say anything?" Dean asked, lips forming a disappointed frown. 

"I didn't think it mattered." 

"Give me a knife." Sam said. Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out his pocket knife. He handed it to Sam and watched as he cut along one of the black lines. 

"What is that stuff?" Dean groaned, watching as the black goo dripped from the angel's arm. 

Bobby grabbed a plate and let the goo drip onto it. Once a fair amount was collected, he took it away and set it down on the table. 

"Somebody hand me some holy water." Sam said as he focused on the wound. Dean grabbed some and watched as Sam splashed it on the cut and the wound itself. It began to sizzle and steam. Cas grunted in pain and gripped the seam of his pants. 

"I guess we know it's demonic." Bobby commented. 

"Shit." Dean cursed. "Crowley gave the bitch the sword. What if he did something to it, poisoned it maybe?" 

"It's a possibility." Cas conceited. 

"Then what do we do? This...whatever it is...could be killing you, and we can't stop it." 

"We don't know that it's killing him, Dean." Sam tried to reason with his brother. 

"We don't know what it's doing, but I doubt that Crowley would do anything that wouldn't hurt him."

"Well I can think of one way we can find out what's going on." Bobby spoke up. 

"How?" Sam, Dean, and Castiel asked in unison. 

"Summon Crowley." 

"You're kidding right?" Dean asked. "He's the one that did this! He wants Cas' head on a plate. How is telling him where we are going to help?" 

"We wouldn't do it here, you idjit." Bobby sighed. "We can prepare for it; make sure he can't do anything."

"Why don't we just kill him?" Dean grumbled. 

"There's always the chance he could be holding something back. If he's alive there is always a way to make him talk." Sam said. 

Dean and Bobby shared a disturbed look at Sam. Cas, however, stared at the floor. The holy water dripped off his arm and onto the tile. "Why are you going to help me?" 

The three startled humans turned to look at the angel. "I was going to leave and it didn't bother you. Why should me dying bother you?" 

"Cas...just..." Dean broke off and sighed. He rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. "Sam just clean it out best you can with holy water, and we can wrap it up." 

While Sam started on his task, Dean walked out onto the porch. Bobby followed him and stood behind him. "I can't say I like him, but I don't want him to bite the bullet." 

"Yeah...I get that. I just don't understand." Dean breathes, exasperated. 

"Meaning?" Bobby questioned. 

"I hate him. What he did to everyone, all the people he killed, what he did to Sam... I can't forgive him. I won't, not anytime soon." 

"You shouldn't." Bobby agreed. 

"But I know what his intentions were. I know how much he's sacrificed for us. I just can't bring myself to overlook the bad shit for the good times." Dean leaned against the porch banister. 

Bobby walked up behind Dean and put a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "It's not going to get easier. Friendship is about as bad as marriage, if not worse." Bobby leaned over the porch rail and chuckled. "Me and Rufus...we were a pair of old bastards. All the crap load of wrongs we did to each other, at the end of the day he was still my friend."

Dean bit his lower lip and stared at the sun setting. 

"You have Cas, Dean, it might be screwed up as hell, but he's one of the best friends you've ever had. That's nothing to turn your nose up at. Let's save him, and then you can work out all the feelings later." 

"Thanks Bobby." Dean smiled. 

"Let's figure out how to save your angel."

 

End of Part 2


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you feel funny?"

"Not particularly." 

"What does that mean? Yes or no, Cas?"

"I don't know how 'feeling funny' feels like." 

"Are you hot, cold, nauseous, clammy...?" Dean questioned Castiel. He was trying to find out what exactly the demonic stuff in the angel's body was doing to him. 

"Let me see the wound." Dean ordered, and gently removed the small wrap from around Castiel's bicep. 

"The lines have spread." Dean frowned. "It's moving towards your chest." 

"I believe I have an idea." Castiel looked into Dean's eyes. 

"Great, are you going to share?" Dean asked. His stomach rolled with anxiety. He wanted to know what was happening to Cas, but he wanted to be able to fix it. No, he was going to fix it. 

"I think it's my grace." 

"What?" 

"Crowley wants revenge, yes? His...method is torture. There are only so many ways to hurt an angel and still keep them alive. If he was to poison my grace, and it became so weakened and tainted that it was as if I didn't have it at all, he would be able to do as he pleased." Castiel told Dean, calmly. 

"Then what do we do? How are we going to stop the poison?" 

"Perhaps we shouldn't." Castiel rested his hands in his lap and played with his thumbs. 

"What are you talking about?" Dean's mind was trying to decode what the statement meant. 

"Why did I survive, Dean?" Cas asked him, solemnly. 

"I wouldn't be the person to ask, Cas. I've asked myself that question a thousand freaking times. I never get an answer to it." Dean told him honestly.

"What I did doesn't warrant happiness. I will never be happy with the weight of what I've done resting on my shoulders."

"What the hell are you trying to say?" Dean asked, carefully. 

"Maybe this is my punishment. Losing my grace to Crowley and being his in hell. It's nothing less than I deserve." 

"That's a load of bullshit and you know it! You don't deserve to go to hell, you don't deserve to lose your grace!" Dean yelled at Castiel, slamming his fist down on the table. 

"Despite what you think, I do deserve this. I've already accepted this." Castiel tried to reason with Dean. 

"What’s the matter, you don't think you deserved to be saved?" Dean spat in the angel's flushed face. 

"Why does it matter to you what happens to me, Dean?" Cas asked.

"Because I care about you, okay? You did some bad stuff. Okay, I broke the first seal when I tortured people in hell. Sam started the apocalypse! Why do we get a chance, and you don't?" Dean rambled. 

"I'm an angel! I am supposed to be pure and good." Castiel swallowed against the lump in his throat. 

"You aren't just an angel, Cas. I wouldn't want you to be just an angel. You're better than all those dicks, man. You care about people, you love God, you're more of an angel than any angel I've ever met." Dean tried to explain to his friend that he was worth something. 

Dean wouldn't even try to begin to explain what was happening to him. His best friend had apparently become a self-sacrificing martyr, and didn't want to listen to any reasoning whatsoever. Dean Winchester was never good at letting the people he cared about give up and lay down to die, and he wasn't about to start now. 

"Get over yourself, Cas." Dean snapped, angrily. "You screwed up the world, boo-freaking-hoo. You said it yourself that you were going to redeem yourself to me. This isn't redeeming yourself, this is being weak and giving up, so you don't have to deal with it." 

Cas opened his mouth in shock and tried to say something, and Dean kept on yelling. 

"Grow some damn balls and take responsibility for what you did!" 

Cas snapped, any control he had over his emotions was lost in a sea of fury. "You don't think I have?!" 

"I think you've admitted what you've done, but you haven't really taken responsibility for it." 

"I healed Sam!" Castiel protested. 

"After you broke the wall in his head!" Dean seethed. 

"What do you want from me, Dean?!" Castiel got in Dean's face, so close that their faces were barely an inch apart. 

Dean grabbed Castiel's shoulders firmly and shook him, ignoring the wince Cas gave. 

"I want you to hold on and survive. Please Cas, just hold on for me okay? I can't...I won't let you just roll over for Crowley." Dean gasped out.

"Dean-"

"Promise me!" Dean's eyes watered as his states into the fiery blue gaze of Castiel's eyes. 

Castiel close his eyes and took in a deep breath. He opened his eyes and looked into Dean's soul. He saw how brightly it shown, how much passion was held in this man. 

"I promise." 

End of Part 3


	4. Chapter 4

"We have everything?" Sam asked, checking as they loaded the van. They were packing to head to a location to summon Crowley. 

Dean threw the last bag into the back of the van and closed the trunk. "Now we do."

"Are you sure about Cas coming along?" Sam asked his brother. 

"I don't want him to leave my sight." Dean firmly told Sam. 

"There's always the chance that this could backfire." Sam warned him. 

"There's always going to be that chance. I'd rather have him with me where I can keep an eye on him." 

Sam paused and raised an eyebrow at his older brother. "What's going on with you two? You've been actin weird around each other the past couple of days." 

Dean grunted. "It's nothing." 

Sam shook his head. "Whatever you say." Sam paused, biting his lower lip. "I really hope this works."

"Yeah." Dean mumbled. "Me too." 

~~~~~~

The drove up to the little house. It was a pretty sight to look at. The wood was old and rotten, it fell down leaving holes to the inside. The windows were clouded with a combination of dust and cobwebs. It was just a shack, but it was good enough for what they were going to do with it. 

Bobby stopped the van and started unloading the bags. 

"How did you find this place?" Sam asked. 

"When you've been in the business as long as I have, you pick up a few extra places." Bobby threw bags to the three of them and they walked into the shack. 

Castiel walked as far as the front door before he stopped suddenly and stumbled back.

"Sorry Cas." Bobby apologized as he walked to one of the walls and broke a sigil with his knife. He turned around and saw the questioning looks from Sam and Dean. 

"Oh so you could get the sigil right here, but not at your house?" Dean teased. 

"How about you shut your mouth and get to work. We have to do everything that will keep other demons out and keep one demon in." Bobby snarked. 

They all were busy. Sam was painting sigils in his blood, while Dean spray painted symbols on the floor. Bobby prepared ingredients for the summoning spell, and Cas checked over the symbols Dean drew. He corrected several of them, and Dean turned red in the face. 

"Why don't you do it then?" Dean snapped, embarrassed. 

"You haven't given me the chance." Protested Castiel. 

"Will you two knock it off so we can get to work?" Bobby asked. "We've got one chance to do this." 

"If it even works." Dean snorted. 

"It's the only chance we've got, guys." Sam piped in. "We have to make this work, otherwise..." He trailed off, but they all understood the message. If this didn't work, then there wasn't anything they could do for Cas. 

Bobby stood in front of the devil's trap and held the paper with the spell close to his face. "Here goes nothing." 

"Eu a time, uram de calic. Wuda ditri terra gauld. Fora polt deramin soot!" Bobby's voices echoed off the wall of the small shack, and the four of them waited anxiously for the devil.

"Why is it you always call me?" Came the annoyed voice from within the devil's trap. 

"Crowley." Dean growled. 

"Winchesters." Crowley returned the hostile tone. "Bobby and of course Castiel. Were your ears burning, angel? I was just having a lovely conversation about what my minions were too do when they bring you to me." 

"You," Dean pointed at Crowley, "don't get to talk to him." 

"Who made you the boss?" Crowley replied, looking rather perturbed at being trapped. 

"We're the ones that have you trapped, so I suggest you shut up." Bobby snarled at the demon. 

Crowley regarded the three hunters carefully. "What is it you want?" 

"What did you do to Cas?" Dean demanded, holding Ruby's knife in his hand. 

"I just gave him a little dose of hellfire ash." Crowley smirked. 

Castiel paled and almost gasped. Dean turned around to Cas. "What does that mean? What's hellfire?" 

"You could say that it's the hell equivalent to holy fire. It's not as deadly, but is a powerful weapon." Castiel explained. 

"By the time that the ash reaches your grace, Castiel, you'll be human. A weak, pathetic human in a flesh and bone body. It will make it so much more fun to play on the rack." 

Dean reached out and slashed Crowley across the front of his shirt. The demon cried out in pain and his right hand moved to cradle his injured chest. 

"Tell us how to stop it!" Dean yelled. 

"It can't be stopped." Crowley choked out. "The damage is permanent." 

"You're lying." Castiel growled. His hands balled into fist; his shoulders shook with anger.

"I’m not, darling." Crowley smiled at the angel. "No one double crosses me without consequences." 

Suddenly the doors and windows began to shake. Crowley laughed, “Looks like my entourage found me once again." 

"Bobby, can the sigils hold?" Sam asked, nervously. 

"They might, but then again they might not." Bobby admitted. 

"Cas!" Dean ran over and grabbed the angel's shoulder. "Can you get us out?"

"Dean...I don't think I have enough grace." Cas said, shakily. 

"If we don't get out of here we'll all be taken." Sam urged. 

Castiel reluctantly nodded his head. "I will get us as far as I can." He told them. 

The three humans grabbed onto Castiel, but they didn't depart without some words from Crowley. "Wait until your human, Castiel. We'll see each other again real soon." 

Castiel tensed and took flight using the last bit of grace he had left. 

End of Part 4


	5. Chapter 5

The first thing that Dean saw was the ground approaching fast. He stuck out his arms to brace himself as he collided with the ground. He groaned in pain as he fell into the gravel and the dirt. He pushed himself up and managed to sit. 

"Is everyone okay?" Dean asked, his voice hoarse. 

"I'm good." Sam replied not three yards away. 

"I'm getting to old for this." Bobby grumbled and came to stand beside Dean. The elder Winchester glanced around to make sure every part of their posse was accounted for, and quickly realized that they were one member short.

"Where's Cas?" 

They began to look for the angel anywhere around where they had landed. They were on a driveway that Dean recognized as not being far from Bobby's. 

"Cas!" Dean called his friend's name, hoping to God that Crowley hadn’t managed to capture him. Then Dean came upon the tail end of a tan piece of clothing. Dean would know what it was miles away. There was no mistaking Castiel's beloved trench coat.

"Cas!" Dean yelled and skidded to a hault beside the angel. Castiel was laying unresponsive, face-down on the ground. Dean turned him over on his back and was relieved about the shallow movement of his chest rising and falling. 

"Cas, buddy, wake up man." Dean placed his palms over Castiel cheeks and tapped lightly in the hopes of waking him. 

"Dean?" Sam questioned not far away. 

"I found him." Dean called. He heard the pounding of heavy footsteps and felt Sam and Bobby standing behind him. 

"He's breathing, but barely." Dean told them. Bobby reached down and grabbed the angel's wrist. He pulled up the sleeves and felt for a pulse. 

"It's pretty fluttery, but it's there." Bobby bluntly stated. 

Sam paced back and forth behind them, eyes locked on the angel. "We need to get him back to Bobby's. He probably just tired himself out is all." 

"That or he used up all his grace." Bobby guessed. 

Dean sucked on his lower lip. "Sam's right. We need to get back to your place and see if he comes out of it." 

Dean hooked his left arm under Cas's legs and put his right arm under Cas' shoulders. Gently, he lifted Cas up and cradled him against his chest. 

"You need help?" Sam asked, ever the strong moose. 

"I've got him." Dean told him. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to carry Cas' heavy body all the way to Bobby's but he was going to certainly try his hardest.

~~~~

 

Castiel awoke to the soft light of a lit lamp. He groggily opened his eyes and found himself staring up at a ceiling. Gingerly, he turned his head and found he was in a bed. The darkness from the window suggested that it must be night or early morning. Cas looked down at himself and saw that he was dressed in only a white T-shirt and boxers. 

His head pounded painfully and he squeezed his eyes shut to the throbbing. His chest also ached, and he rubbed it comfortingly. He could still feel the last of his grace pulsing within him. He hasn't lost it yet, despite how close he was to losing it forever. 

"Hey, you're awake." Dean said happily, as he walked into the room.

"How long was I unconscious?" Cas asked him, watching as Dean frowned. 

"About three hours or so. You had us worried." Dean sat in a chair that had been placed by the bed. "I had to carry your ass all the way back to Bobby's." 

"I'm sorry." Cas apologized.

Dean waved him off and played nervously with his thumbs as they rested in his lap. "Do you still have your grace?" 

"Yes." Castiel smiled. "It is holding on still, weaker, but still there." 

Dean frowned in sadness. "That's something I guess." Dean paused and silence fell over the two of them. 

"Dean." Cas spoke up. "If Crowley was to find me-" 

"He won't." Dean growled. "You're not going to hell, Cas. I don't care what I have to do. Too many good people have been there already." 

"You think I'm a good person?" Castiel asked, surprised. 

"You messed up, went bat shit insane, whatever you want to call it...but it doesn't necessarily make you bad. It makes you human." Dean explained to him, getting up from the chair and sitting beside Cas on the bed. 

"You confuse me." Castiel complained. "You say you won't forgive me, yet you said I'm not a bad person." 

"You can be a good person without my forgiveness." Dean insisted. 

"I won't feel like a good person until I've earned your forgiveness." Cas told him. 

Dean turned on him. "Why is my forgiveness so important to you? I'm just a guy that's screwed up so much in my life and done things that..." 

"You think that matters to me?" Castiel asked, desperately. "Dean, I have seen you at your absolute worse. Even then, I was amazed by how brightly your soul shown. There is nothing that you could do that would change my mind. I will not be conceded until I have your forgiveness." 

"Why?!" Dean demanded. "Why am I so important to you?" 

Castiel sat still for a second before staring into Dean's green eyes. 

"Because I love you Dean Winchester."


	6. Chapter 6

Dean stood rigid as if he had been frozen. Love. Cas loved him. Castiel the warrior of God and angel of the lord loved him.

Dean's mind played the words over and over in his head again. He couldn't wrap his head around the idea. He knew it was painfully obvious; he had known for a long time. Dean just didn't want to believe it. 

"Dean..." Cas asked, cautiously. 

Dean was still frozen solid, unable to move a muscle. He hadn't really loved anyone before. Everything was sex, and he loved Sam and Bobby, but not in a romantic way. Lisa had come close, but honestly it was a pipe dream. Now He faced a dilemma. Cas loved him, but did he love Cas? 

"Will you say something?" Castiel begged him. His big blue eyes watered and stared up at him. 

"Cas..." Dean trailed. Suddenly he started chuckling. "You stupid bastard." 

Alarmed, Castiel moved away from Dean. He was afraid he had upset the man. "I will leave if this revelation causes-" 

Dean grabbed Castiel by the shoulders and pulled them flush as their lips crashed together. Reluctantly, Dean pulled away, and his hands held Cas' face, making the angel look at him. "Don't you dare leave." 

"Only if you asked me to go." 

 

Dean had accepted the fact that he had kissed Cas. It was a "heat of the moment" type thing, but he didn't regret it. His problem was that his brother and Bobby couldn't find out. 

"Morning." Sam yawned from the coffee pot. He poured himself a cup and sat down at the table. 

"Morning." Dean mumbled in reply. "Cas woke up early this morning."

"Is he okay?" Sam asked, concerned for the falling angel. 

"Yeah we was fine, just tired. He's still got some grace left." 

"Good." Sam replied, generally happy. 

"Where's Bobby?" Dean asked, looking around for their makeshift father.

"He went out back to get some firewood. It's supposed to get really cold tonight." 

"Great." Dean moaned. "That just what we need."

"I wasn't aware you are fond of the cold, Dean." Castiel said as he walked into the kitchen. 

"Cas..." Dean face-palmed. "Why are you wearing your boxers?" 

"I wasn't able to find my pants." Castiel stated. 

"You could have borrowed some of mine." Dean insisted. 

"Your clothes are too large for my body." Cas whined. 

"Just-" 

BANG! 

All three of them jumped at the sound of the gun shot. Sam and Dean looked at each other once before running to the back door. "Bobby!" Sam called. 

Cas went for the door to help look for Bobby, but was stopped by Dean. "Stay in the house." He commanded. 

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself." Castiel spat at Dean, and tried to push him out of the way. Dean reached out and grabbed Cas by the shoulder. 

"Just stay, Cas. We don't know what it is, and if it's Crowley you have to stay here. Go the the panic room and I'll get you when we find out what happened." 

"I won't leave you-" Cas started. 

"Please, Cas. Stay in the panic room, for me. I...won't watch Crowley take you." Dean pleaded. 

"I'll go," Castiel agreed, a bit reluctantly. "Be careful." 

Dean nodded as he ran out the door behind Sam. They called for Bobby and searched for any sound; remaining cautious to any attack. 

"Looking for me?" A low voice laughed. 

Dean and Sam spun around to see a demon standing behind them. Dean charged forward, knife aimed to stab the demon in the throat. 

"Ah, I wouldn't if I were you, Dean." The demon smiles. "Not unless you want to see your friend again." 

"What did you do to him?" Sam growled. 

"Nothing....yet. Crowley is tired of waiting. He's bored and unless Castiel hands himself over to Crowley by tomorrow, Bobby will take his place in hell."

Dean's stomach jumped out of his throat. "No." 

"Castiel is to meet at the lab where the gate of Purgatory was owned. These are the requirements. Crowley stated specifically that no negotiations were possible. And no offering another soul in place of Castiel." 

The demon disappeared and Sam and Dean were left standing in the dust. "Son of a bitch!" Dean screamed as he kicked one of the old cars. 

~~~

"Of course I'll do it." Castiel told them, now wearing sweat pants and the same white t-shirt. 

"No...there has to be some other way out of this." Dean thought, trying to find something, anything that could result in having both Bobby and Cas. He couldn't let Bobby go to hell, and he wasn't going to let Cas anywhere close to there. The thought of one of them being tortured on the racks, skin peeling, blood dripping...Dean gagged from the horror of it all. 

"There isn't, Dean." Cas stated, face all serious. 

"It's hell, Cas." Dean tried to reason with him. 

"You would rather Bobby take my place." Castiel asked, shutting Dean up. "It doesn't matter what your feelings are on the matter, the fact is that I will never let Bobby take my place." Castiel's voice resonated firmly throughout the room. 

Dean bit his lip and turned to Sam for support. The younger Winchester stared at the floor, while his fists were clenched in anger. "It's not my decision to make, Cas. You'll do what you think is right...I just wish you didn't have to." 

"You can't be agreeing with him?!" Dean exclaimed. 

"Dean," Castiel spoke softly, "this is my fault. My actions caused this and I will not let an innocent man suffer. I couldn't live with myself if I did. This is me taking responsibility for my actions." 

"This isn't responsibility! It's suicide!" Dean screamed. 

"Tomorrow I will give myself over to Crowley whether or not you're there, Dean." Castiel told Dean. 

Dean bit his lips and punched one of his fists against the kitchen wall, leaving a dent. He stalked out of the room, leaving Sam and Castiel alone. 

"He won't ever accept letting you do this." Sam told him. 

"I am aware." Castiel agreed. "There is no other choice." 

"I'll research all I can tonight. I'll call everybody, there has to be some way out of this." Sam grabbed on to Castiel's shoulder. Cas saw the desperation in the young man's brown eyes. 

"It's okay, Sam." Cas said. Sam surprised him by wrapping his arms around the smaller man. He pulled tight and held on. 

"You fight it, Cas. Whatever he tries to do...you can't give up. We'll get you out even if we have to storm hell ourselves."

"I know you will Sam, thank you." 

 

~~~~

"Dean." Castiel called out as he walked into the room he had stayed in the night before. 

The older Winchester sat silently on the bed, looking over to Cas. "What?" 

"I know this is difficult-" Castiel began, but was cut off as Dean jumped off the bed and got in his face. 

"You know this is difficult! You told me you loved me not four hours ago, Cas. And you know what you god damn bastard?! I love you too! Are you happy now, because I'm not. I'll be stuck up here while you're being..." Dean's voice cracked. "Don't do this to me. Please, if you love me at all, you can't do this."

"I'll will always love you, Dean. I always have, and I will never stop." Castiel gripped Dean's shoulder and rubbed it comfortingly. "But you know this is the right thing to do." 

"I know," Dean sighed, "But I won't accept that. You can't expect me to live my life while you're rotting in hell." 

"No. I know you, Dean. I know you'll never give up." 

Dean pulled Cas to him and their lips once again connected. This time, however, the kiss was more passionate, more heated. Dean slipped a tongue into Cas' mouth and heard him moan in pleasure. 

Castiel pushed Dean down onto the bed and laid atop of him while slowly exploring the other’s mouth. He felt a warm sensation low in his belly, and he felt as if the sweat pants had become too tight. 

Dean's fingers worked their way through Cas' messy dark hair. He gripped it, but made sure not to pull hard enough to cause pain. Slowly, he worked his hands down to the end of the white t-shirt covering his lover. He pulled the shirt up and over Castiel's head and threw it down. 

Cas gasped as Dean kissed a trail from his chin down the front of his chest. His tongue licked playfully at his nipples. 

"You like that, huh?" Dean teased as he pleasured the angel. 

"Yes..." Cas cried breathlessly. He moved his hands down and worked Dean's shirt over his head and let it drop. He stared at Dean's impressive figure and before he knew what he was doing, Castiel sucked at Dean's neck. 

Dean moaned with pleasure and flipped Cas over to where he was on the bottom. Cas didn't seem to mind, he was having too much fun sucking all over Dean's chest and nipples. 

Dean reached for the sweat pants Cas was wearing and hurriedly pulled them off. He couldn't help but laugh at the angel's erection straining against the boxers. "I could take care of that for you." Dean whispered into his lover's ear. 

Castiel nodded excitedly and watched as Dean hooked his fingers in the waist band. "Wait." Dean said, suddenly. "Are you sure you want this, Cas?" 

"If this is truly my last night on Earth, Dean. I wouldn't want to be doing anything else with anyone else." Cas spoke into Dean's mouth as he kissed him. 

Dean smiled pulling the boxer shorts off of Cas and throwing them somewhere behind the bed. Dean stared at his partner's erected cock and watched how precum glistened the head. 

"I think I may be a bit over-dressed." Dean chuckled as he removed his pants and boxers. 

Cas stared, intimidatingly at Dean's cock. It was quite large. Cas didn't know how it was going to fit, but he trusted Dean. His thoughts were interrupted by Dean taking him into his mouth. He couldn't help but whine in pleasure as Dean's tongue circled the head, while Dean rubbed up and down. 

Castiel saw Dean's cock hang between his legs, and he reached for it. He rubbed it in the same motion Dean was using on him and smiled when Dean moaned around his penis. 

Suddenly, Dean pulled off of Cas' cock and got off the bed. 

"Where are you going?" Cas asked, alarmed, and afraid he had done something wrong. 

"Just grabbing the lube." Dean answered and hurried back onto the bed when he had grabbed the bottle out of his duffle bag. 

"Lube?" Cas questioned, tilting his head. 

"I'm not going to shove into you without prep, Cas. It would hurt, in... A bad way." Dean explained, and he squirted some of the gel onto his fingers. 

"I've never had sex with a guy before." Dean stated nervously. 

"I trust you." Cas encouraged him, the want eating at his insides. 

Dean spread his legs and pushed his knees up towards his chest. He circled his finger around the puckered hole, spreading the lube around. Cautiously, he slipped one finger inside all the way to the first knuckle. 

Cas flinched slightly, but still gazed lovingly into Dean's eyes. Dean worked the rest of the finger in and started adding more fingers until four fingers were buried deep in Castiel's ass. 

"Dean..." Cas whined, squirming on the fingers. "More...I need more."

Dean didn't think twice before pulling out and immediately coating his cock in lube. He looked to Cas for permission before he lined up his cock to Cas's quivering hole. He easily slid his balls deep inside of Cas. Dean could barely control himself, trapped in the tight heat of Castiel's body. 

"Move!" Castiel cried, his eyes blown wide with lust. 

Dean started moving slowly at first, but then quickly built up the pace. The sound of skin slapping skin fell upon Dean's ears along with the sound of Cas grunting with pleasure. 

Cas cried forcefully as his cum spilled onto his belly. His body fell limp and he watched Dean's face as he still pounded into his body. 

Eventually, Dean came with a jerk. His whole body tensed as he spilled his seeds into Cas.

The two fell on top of each other and breathed heavily. Cas rested his head on Dean's chest and listened to the man's rapid heartbeat. 

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, Cas."


	7. Chapter 7

All three of them stood at the entrance to the lab. Dean swallowed painfully as he thought of what waited for them beyond that door. He grabbed Cas' hand and gave it a good squeeze. The angel looked to him and frowned when he saw the unshed tears in his lover's green eyes. 

Sam opened the door and they walked into the lab. Blood splattered the floor, and everything was the same as they left it. The only thing that had changed was Crowley standing in the center of the room smirking, as almost a dozen demons stood behind him. One held Bobby, but thankfully (despite a cut on his cheek) the old hunter looked relatively unharmed. 

"Castiel...you came. I was afraid that you would see common sense and get as far away from here as you could." Crowley commented. 

"You put a deal in place and I'm here to take it. Let Bobby Singer go and I will go with you willingly." Castiel told them firmly, although Dean could see the fear in his eyes. 

"Very well." Crowley snapped his fingers and the demon let go of Bobby. He nudged the hunter forward until he stood beside Crowley. Castiel gave one last look to Dean before he walked to take Bobby's place. 

As soon as he was in reach, demons grabbed Castiel roughly and held him. Bobby walked over to Dean and Sam, looking back pitifully at the angel. 

"Brutus," Crowley called, "You know what to do." 

One of the bigger demons nodded and pulled out a silver sword. Dean's heart sped up as he recognized what it was. Before he had a chance to protest, Brutus pulled the sword back and slammed it into Castiel's side.

The angel gave a pained howl and fell to the floor. 

"No!" Dean shouted, and ran forward. Bobby and Sam held him back, but just barely. "Cas!" He cried out. 

Castiel raised his head and glanced in Dean's direction. He tried to say something, but blood poured out over his lips. 

"You bastard!" Dean screamed. "I'll kill you, Crowley. I won't ever stop till I've killed you!" 

"Good luck with that." Crowley smiled. "Take them." 

"What?!" Sam startled. 

"You honestly thought that I was going to let you go?" Crowley asked. "You're dumber than you look, moose."

"You son of a bitch," Bobby cursed, as demons grabbed the three of them. 

"No..." Cas choked out. "You will...not take...them." He struggled to say over the blood flowing out of his mouth. 

"You don't get a say in this angel." Crowley spat and kicked the angel in the side. 

Castiel screamed in pain as the sword drove deeper into him. Dean fought the demon's hold with everything he had as he heard his lover scream. He wanted to rip out every last one of their throats.

"No!" Castiel yelled. "I will not...allow you..."

Suddenly, light began to fill the room. The white grace poured out from Castiel as he found the strength to push himself up. He opened his mouth and his true voice filled the lab. The demons screamed and the three humans rushed to cover their ears and eyes. 

The screams grew louder and louder. Dean was sure his brain was going to melt as his ears bled. The light grew so intense that the humans felt their eyes start to burn. It got quite for a few seconds...then everything exploded. 

 

Dean uncovered his ears. He was laying on the ground under a pile of fallen roof tiles. There was a puddle of blood under his head from his ears and the whole world seemed to spin. He looked around and saw the bodies of the demons. Crowley's eyes were gone from his head and had been replaced with black holes of blood. He saw Sam and Bobby start to get up behind him and he breathed a sigh of relief. 

Then he saw him...

Castiel laid sprawled on the ground. Concrete covered him, and Dean saw the sword sticking from his side. But that wasn't what bothered Dean...No, that honor belonged to the black wings that were burned into the ground.

His heart stopped. His lungs ceased to draw air. His mind turned to mush.

"No." He breathed. He ran as fast as his wobbly legs could take him and skidded to a hault beside the body. "No. No no no no no no." 

Dean cried. Tears spilt over his eyes as he cradled his best friend and the person he loved. "Cas." He keened, rocking back and forth. "Don't do this to me you bastard! I love you, Cas! Please, don't do this to me!" 

Dean repeated the matra over and over until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn't take his eyes from Castiel's blood stained face. 

"Dean." He heard Sam breathe behind him. "Dean, he's gone."

"No!" Dean yelled. "No he isn't!" 

"Son..." Bobby placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean sobbed harder and held on tightly to Cas' body. 

He dipped his head down next to Cas and whispered into his ear. "I forgive you." 

Reluctantly, he let go of Cas' body as Sam and Bobby helped him up. Both of them had tear tracks on their face. 

"We need to get him back to my place." Bobby said. "Give him a proper hunter's funeral."

Dean didn't even respond. Not even to the soft moaning and the hand that clasped onto his jeans. 

Dean's eyes shot wide open and he looked down to Cas. The angel's eyes were open and staring up at Dean. 

"Wha' hap'n." Castiel slurred. 

Dean reached down and planted a kiss on Cas' bloodstained lips.


	8. Chapter 8

“How far is the hospital?!” Dean shouted from the backseat of the Impala. He couldn’t bring himself to care about the blood spilling out onto the leather. All he cared about was the source of the blood.   
“It’s about fifteen more minutes,” Sam said, looking back over his seat at the two in the back. 

“Dammit,” Dean cursed. His hands pressed harder on the gaping wound. Blood dripped down over Dean’s hands and onto the floorboards. 

“Dean...” Castiel groaned. His arms searched for something to grasp as he rode out a wave of pain. 

“Easy Cas. I’ve got you. Just hold on a couple of more minutes.” Dean cooed as he stroked Cas’ sweat soaked hair with his hand.

“D...Dean,” Cas gasped, “if I don’t...make...it-” 

“Hey!” Dean snapped. “Just...hush okay? Don’t talk like that.” 

Bobby hit a pothole in the road causing the Impala to jump into the air and swerve.

“Agh!” Cas cried out. 

“What the hell, Bobby?” Dean demanded.

“It’s not that easy going seventy when it’s forty, Dean. I’m trying to be as easy as I can.” Bobby grumbled. 

“How’s he doing?” Sam asked, worriedly. 

“He’s,” Dean choked, “he’ll bleed out if we don’t get there soon.” 

Sam bit his lip and turned back towards the windshield. Sam and Bobby had both seen Dean kiss Castiel. It was a shock...sort of. The two of them had been dancing around each other for years, but Sam didn’t think his brother would actually act on his feelings. It didn’t bother him, though. Dean was his brother and that wouldn’t change no matter what. 

“Cas you’ve got to stay awake, buddy. Keep your eyes on me.” Dean swallowed down tears as those beautiful baby blues glanced up at him. 

“I love-” The rest of the sentence was cut off with a grimace, as Castiel bared his teeth against the agony. 

“I love you too, Cas. I love you, too.” Dean whispered. 

Castiel coughed blood onto Dean’s shirt and struggled to breathe. “No no no. Cas you’ve got to breathe.” 

Cas continued to cough and heave, trying to take in the precious oxygen. 

“Cas!” 

“We’re here.” Bobby said, as he skidded to a stop in front of the hospital. He and Sam got out as soon as the car stopped and ran around to the back. Dean slid out of the car, while Sam and Bobby helped carry Castiel. They ran into the emergency room, Dean holding Castiel close to his chest as he struggled to breathe. 

“Get me a gurney!” A young nurse yelled. Several nurses ran over to them with one and Dean lowered Castiel on it. Cas grasped onto his hand and Dean grasped back, holding on desperately. 

“Sir, you have to let go.” A nurse grabbed Dean and guided him away as they pushed Cas through the doors. He wanted to stay with Cas, but knew he couldn’t stand watching as they cut him open. 

The nurse gave him forms to sign, which he in turn handed off to Sam. The younger Winchester filled out the forms as his brother bounced his leg up and down nervously. 

“He’s going to be fine, Dean.” Bobby reassured him. 

“How do you know?” Dean turned to Bobby, his eyes watering.

“He will be,” Sam started. “because Cas is the most stubborn angel I’ve ever seen. He loves you, and he’s not going to leave you.” 

Dean nodded and turned his gaze down to the floor. His mind wondered to thoughts of Cas. He was most likely scared. Having all kinds of doctors poking and prodding him. All he wanted was to make sure that Cas was safe and alive. 

 

“Winchester.” The doctor called out, walking through the emergency room doors. 

They had been in the waiting room for over three hours. Dean spent the whole time worrying about Cas. He was the first to jump up and run over. 

“Is he alive?” Were the first words out of his mouth. 

“He’s out of surgery. The knife punctured the liver. He was lucky, though. We were able to repair the damage to the liver. It will hold and heal if he doesn’t do anything too strenuous.” 

“What do you mean?” Dean asked. 

“He will he have to be careful that he doesn’t take part in certain physical activities. Like that of football or any contact sport. We will gave you a full list of warnings soon.” The doctor said. 

“What will happen if he does?” Dean asked, concerned. 

“He’ll run the risk of damaging his liver further, which will require a transplant. I expect his liver to hold, but we’ll also be looking for transplant options as well.” 

“Can we see him?” Dean asked, quietly.   
The doctor sighed. “He’s just been moved to ICU. I can allow one of you to stay for five minutes.” 

Sam and Bobby sat back down, and watched as Dean disappeared through the doors. He followed the doctor down the hallways until he came to a stop in front of a door. 

“He’s in here. He’s asleep right now. He’ll be under for a while.” 

Dean walked in the room and his heart fell. Cas was hooked up to all kinds of machines. Dean pulled a chair up to the bed and grabbed his angel’s hand. 

“Hey, Cas.” Dean said, his voice hoarse. “I’m here, buddy. You did good, Cas. I knew you wouldn’t leave me.” 

“Listen, I don’t even know if you can hear me or not, but you’re going to have to take it easy. Just settle down and chill out in a normal kind of life, alright. And I’ll stay with you. I’ll quit hunting and just stay somewhere with you and get a job as a mechanic or something.”

Dean waited to see if Cas responded in any way. He sighed when he didn’t and kissed his lover’s hand. “I’ll do anything that you want to do, Cas.” 

A nurse came and escorted Dean out of the room. The Winchester never took his eyes off of the man that laid in the bed. The one who he had just promised to give up everything for.”


	9. Epilogue

Two Months Later

"You have morning breath." Castiel complained as Dean kissed him.

"And you think you don't?" Dean teased. 

"If you will let me up, I will brush my teeth." Cas said, trying to push himself up.

Dean pushed him back down. "What do you think you're doing? The doctor said two more weeks. If you move around too much, you'll pop your stitches." Dean fussed. 

Castiel leaned back against the pillow and let Dean mother him. His partner had become unreasonably concerned and what Sam called a "mother hen" ever since he had been released from the hospital two weeks ago. 

He was now completely human. He used the last bit of his grace to kill the demons to stop them from taking his family. After he awakened, He was rushed to the hospital, while Dean held his head in his lap and whispered nonsense words to him. 

"I will be fine. You worry too much." Cas insisted. 

"You just want to move so you can have sex again." Dean teased the man. He laid down beside him and circled an arm around him. 

"You want it as much as I do." Cas protested. 

"Yes, but I'm not willing to injure you to do it." Dean placed a kiss to Cas' forehead. 

"Have you thought about the offer again?" Dean asked.

"Can we afford the house?" Cas asked. 

"Money isn't a problem, Cas. Besides, Sam’s got Amelia, and we don't need to bother Bobby."

Amelia was Cas' nurse at the hospital. Her and Sam had quickly fallen in love, and Dean was sure they were going to get married. 

Cas leaned back against Dean. “Are you sure you want this, Dean. You’ve tried once to live a normal life, and look where you ended up.”

Dean thought about how much he had lost over the years. He had gained a family now and fell in love with his best friend. His life was a strange one, but he could deal with it. 

"I ended up laying in bed with my boyfriend. How is that bad?” Dean asked. 

“I won’t make you give up hunting.” Cas said, firmly. 

“I’m not going to hunt, because I can’t risk endangering you.” Dean curled an arm around Cas. 

“I’m not as fragile as you believe me to be.” Castiel huffed in annoyance. 

“Your liver could go at any time, Cas. I won’t risk it.” 

“The doctors said it’s healing fine. You worry too much.” Castiel snuggled in closer to Dean. 

“I won’t lose you again, Cas. I won’t do it.” Dean tensed up and kissed Cas lovingly. “I’ll live some apple pie life if it means I get to keep you.” 

“I love you, Dean.” Cas mumbled. 

“I love you too, Cas.” 

END


End file.
